Foreskin Fashion: Etnies and Whale Cock(s)

Etnies recently paired up with Dave Carnie of Whale Cock Skateboards to create one of the most awesomely creative, and perfectly controversial ads that I have ever seen, displayed in Vice Magazine's 2009 Fiction Issue. The fictional ad boasts a new skate shoe made from the "softest material on earth," otherwise known as "the skin of a whales penis," and create the Aborted Baby Whale, Whale Cock Shoe. That shit must be madd comfortable! Anyway, the picture in the ad is indeed great, but the accompanying story of how the baby whale-cock skin is acquired is kooky genius. The story is so bizarre, it gets away with poking lighthearted humor at serious issues, and it works brilliantly.
Take a gander...

"As everyone knows, the skin of a whale's penis is the softest material on earth. Aristotle Onassis covered the barstools on his yacht with whale cock foreskin. Everyone who sat in them thought they were the softest barstools they had ever sat upon. Can you imagine, then, how supple the skin of a baby whale's virgin penis must feel? It is the softest material on earth. How much more softer can you get? The answer is none. None more softer. So ETNIES and WHALE COCK have contracted a number of Japanese whaling fleets (equipped with offshore abortion clinics)to acquire only the finest and most pregnant whales in the ocean. The Japanese abortion doctors carefully extricate the baby whales from the mothers' vaginas, and harvest their tiny baby penises. After the skins have been processed and brought to shore, the nimble fingers of tiny foreign orphan children fashion the smooth, malleable material into skateboard shoes. It requires at least 19 baby whale penises to make each shoe, but it's the softest, most comfortable skateboard shoe you will ever wear. Thanks to the tiny cocks of aborted baby whales" (Etnies, 2009)

Polar Bears Paralyze Poland Spring??

Various new campaigns have recently popped up, by way of culturejammers and other concerned individuals, urging consumers to be more mindful of their consumption habits. Specifically, a new one entitled "Polar Tears" that takes a well deserved jab at the bottled water industry, through a heart wrenching expose (by way of poster), depicting a sobbing polar bear atop a decrepit ice cap, which (not so) ironically is melting into a plastic bottle. The apropos phrases "98 percent melted ice caps" and "2 percent polar bear tears" flank each side of the image. They say emotion is the best way to foster a reaction and I must admit that pulling at the heart strings always works for me - so in an attempt to spread the word about eco-friendly water consumption and help the polar bear - I am printing out the poster and passing it along to spread the word. And, this is no Al Gore "save the polar bears BS either" - thus, I take it seriously and I suggest that you do the same. Buy a reusable water bottle, and stop purchasing the plastic - For the polar bears.....